Week 18: Me or the Cosmos

Dear Baby,

I’m sorry, I promise I’ll be a better mommy than I am a blogger.  Because I’m finishing my last semester of undergrad (so that you can have a smart mommy) life is just a little chaotic.

So, let’s see what we’ve done since I last posted:

You finally kicked me 2 days ago.  I was sitting at my desk at work and I felt this weird thump inside me, on my left side.  I thought “WHAT THE EFF WAS THAT?” then realized, oh yeah, you’re in there.  It’s nothing personal, sometimes it’s just easy to forget that there’s actually a little human in there.

Daddy and I are starting to clean out what was a studio space to move our office out of what will be your nursery.  We had a major freak out last week, for about 6 days, obessing over needing to move.  I’d love for you to have a big yard, a big bright house, lots of trees around.  A little like what I had when I was a kid.  We’re also a bit worried about what to do for your schooling.  But, we also realize that it’s important for you to stay in a neighborhood with working class folks, diversity, and culture.  So, we’ll have to sort that out.  A lot can change over the next 5 years or so, as we’ll both have new degrees and job opportunities.

Overall, we haven’t been too sick.  I was getting really sickened by smells, like hand lotion, but that’s getting a little better.

I’m carrying you VERY WIDE, or so it feels.  I’m growing almost as much sideways as I am front-ways.  But, so far, I think I’m on a healthy track with eating well.  I get hungry constantly–I never thought I’d get sick of eating, but I really have.  I’m tired of snacking so much, but it’s already hard to take in a full meal.

On Friday, we are kicking off our spring break by going for your 4th ultrasound–hopefully we’ll be finding out your gender!  It’ll be nice to be able to call you “he” or “she”.  We’ve got some names picked out for you already.  Thinking you’ll either be named after your dad or after his grandma, but we’ll see what happens. (I’m pretty excited about telling your derby aunts.  Since they found out that you are about 5 inches long, they’ve been calling you “baby kitten”.)

My gut says that you are a boy.  The same feeling I got about the last 5 friends that were pregnant and I predicted the gender.  But, there are signs in the world that tell me you’re a girl.  Songs on the radio, little things I see and hear point to girl.  So, in two days, we’ll see who is more right, me or the cosmos.

Once we know if you’ll be a boy or a girl, we can start shopping.  I’ve been really on my best behavior until this point, but not sure how much longer I can hold out.   I’m looking forward to setting up your nursery!

Loving you more every day, little one.

 

 

 

First Trimester Wrap Up

My current fav. mommy blogger, Jen Renee did a nice post today on the idea of taking a moment to recognize the awesomeness of pregnancy, or as she puts it, “Just to make sure I’m taking the time to remember this experience. To internalize and process how incredibly cool it all is.”

I’ve been thinking lately that I need to document more about the oddest parts of pregnancy so far.  The little things.  Baby, you should know you’ve resulted in the following:

• Last night I had to tell your daddy to wash the lotion off of his hands, because the smell was enough to make me want to cry or throw up.  Though technically unscented, I described it as the smell of some fatty remains that had been eaten by an animal and then vomited back up.
• The other biggest smell trigger is  the smell of your future roller derby aunties.  You’ll understand what I mean later.  You’ll be growing up with that smell.
• I think you can sort of hear me now, and maybe know when I’m poking at you.  Sometimes I “tickle” you, or tell you what we’re about to go do.  I figure you’re in on whatever I do, so you might as well know the plan, even if there’s a good chance it just involves a trip to the bathroom.
• I’ve started to show and I kind of like it.  Sometimes I walk past a mirror and I’m surprised by how much belly is there for a 3 inch long teenie-weenie.  You’re small for a baby, but when you get here, you’ll still be small.
• We told your dad’s parents about you last weekend.  They were so excited, they pushed your dad out of the way to get at me for a hug.  (Poor dad.) They are gonna LOVE you!
• This weekend, we’re telling my dad about you.  I’m actually pretty nervous about this.  I’m never comfortable with seeing your grandpa cry.
• I’ve only thrown up twice, but somethings are still odd to me.  Salty flavors and chocolate nauseate me terribly.  Caffeinated coffee also gives me terrible heart flutters, which is a bummer, because I’d like just a little of it now and again to help me get over how tired I am.
• Right now, our name ideas are Stella (after your dad’s grandma) if you’re a girl, and if you’re a boy, you’ll take your dad’s name.  My hunch is that you’re a boy (dad agrees) but there are certainly days where I can imagine you’re a girl.  We’ll find out in another 2 months, fingers crossed.
• I’ve started making things for your nursery–I’m planning a woodland theme.  I’m determined to make it mostly gender neutral. The idea came from a batch of forest animal embroidery patterns I got.

More to come, teenie-weenie.